As the holiday of Passover approaches, a ritualistic evening of remembering slavery, we might ask ourselves: what enslaves us personally? And we might ask what would set us free?
There has been quite a bit of research on the impact lying has on our sense of well-being. It seems lying affects both our mental and physical health, while telling the truth gives us a sense of freedom, and finally makes us happier, stronger, and more connected. So if that research is not a lie, why do we lie so much? Most of us don’t even know we are doing it when we do it.
It is hard to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth to ourselves. It is like we must hide from the truth out of shame, guilt, exposure, and fear that who we really are will not be valued by ourselves, first and foremost, and also by those we relate to. And so we bury our truths to hide from ourselves, and others, with an illusion that this is making us safe. This is how we manipulate our image, how we believe we are protecting ourselves, and how we manage our reality.
I wish there was a little gadget that pinched us every time we told a lie to ourselves. I am this kind of person and not that kind of person – pinch! I am right and they are wrong – pinch! The truth will hurt that person. The truth will hurt me. Pinch. If I finally get this one thing I will be happy, fulfilled, and safe – pinch, OUCH!
The work of Byron Katie asks us to question our beliefs and in so doing reveal our unintentional but all-encompassing self-deception. Is it true? Do you know 100% that it’s true? How do you treat yourself and others when you believe it’s true? And who would you be without the belief that it’s true?
Who would I be if I really told myself the truth and still loved myself even more after? Who would I be if I paused before communicating with someone else and really checked to see our motivations and if we were saying what we really mean?
We are prisoners of our defensive and protective lies. And that is why they say – The Truth Will Set You Free!
Tell us what would set YOU free with your comment below, and please share to inspire others!
4 thoughts on “What Would Set YOU Free?”
Well selling my house helped set me free, but not completely. Having more money would really set me free. I could travel, get massages ( which would set me body free,) eat organic food more, live in a nicer place, I could go on and on. I am not aware of lying to myself.
We are rarely aware of lying to ourself Jean. It’s always another desire that puts another chain on ourselves. There’s always something. But what if you were already free…with all you have? Spmething to ponder.
What to do when the lie protects people? When the truth, for example, is about something they did in the past that can never be undone? I hate lying, but sometimes I don’t know how to speak my truth.
What an important inquiry. First off, I don’t think a lie really protects anyone. Who am I to decide? How does that make me superior to know what’s best. With small children truth can be discerned in increments. Now if someone says to me…I don’t want to know the truth…well that’s something I would honor. Their self deception is all theirs to hold. And then there is the important question regarding how to speak the truth. I always practice with gestalt empty chair work. Sit in their chair and see the best way they can hear. Also sometimes we need help with a mediator present. Thank you for exploring these issues with me.
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