Are You Resolving? Are You Dreaming? Where Do They Meet in 2021?

I want to thank two of my beloved clients for inspiring this blog. I am so fortunate to be informed and stimulated by my wonderful partners in growth. Bless you all.

At the beginning of the year, it has become a tradition for many people to make resolutions. To resolve is to have a firm determination to do something. The firmness may have a demanding and forceful quality to it, as well as expectations. Resolve does not always include ripening.

For our resolutions, we reflect back on the year that has past and look for ways we can judge ourselves for not being or doing enough, on stuff that seems to be missing, and on the many ways we think we are unhappy and need to improve ourselves. We live in a society that encourages us to be more of everything- more successful, more focused, more healthy, more satisfied.

So, we make these random promises to ourselves that often do not have sustainability because they are coming from a place of lacking, and “shoulds.” Our mind may believe we are ready for this resolve. And yet the soil to plant these seeds of change may be frozen and unreceptive, not ready to take hold and nourish the change we believe we must seek.

And then I consider the word Committing, which I believe somehow engages the heart and points us toward our growing edges.

Committing doesn’t necessarily promise outcomes. It is, though, a serious form of engagement. It is the beginning of germination. Somehow when we commit to something, it has a different feel to me than resolve. It has an opening and trust in it. What will grow will grow, in its time, if we hold it in our awareness, sending it committed nourishment.

AND what do we choose to commit to, and can we dance with committing in not so scary ways?

Even these almost weekly blogs are merely a committing to write when I can write, if I have something to say. If I don’t have something to say, if I am not compelled to write, to resolve to do so anyway, is constricting and creates dread in me, and definitely not memorable writing.

And then there’s Dreaming. Dreaming has softer edges. It allows for possibilities. It considers collaboration with the Universe. It has the “What if?” question embedded in it.

I realized a long time ago that I am not a great dreamer for myself. My Enneagram type two is related to this. I am great in helping others dream and realize their dreams in some form or another, and in dreaming, in general, for a kinder world. It’s clearly a defense mechanism for me, to hold back my dreaming for myself, so as not to be disappointed.

A client gave me three stones in a beautiful glass box for the holidays. The stones were engraved with these words. Wisdom. Creativity. Dreams. The person who gave this to me is a wonderful and courageous Dreamer. I admire this. Right after I received this gift, a friend with whom I was speaking, referenced someone I love, calling them a Dreamer, head in the clouds. This was not a compliment about my loved one. In that moment I realized I would relish more dreaming on my end. Frankly, I want to dream more, not just for the world and for others; I want to dream for myself as well.

And then there’s Intention. I write about intention in all my books, and teach it to myself and others daily.

I believe Intention is a gift you hope to give yourself. And it allows for Life to be involved as well. It’s something you mean to do, whether you pull it off or not. It brings Dreaming and Committing together, perhaps.

One of my favorite poets and essayists is David Whyte. This is taken from his extraordinary book Consolations from the essay on WORK.

“With the right work, the right relationship to that work and the mystery of what is continually being revealed to us through our endeavors, we find a home that eventually doesn’t need debilitating stress, does not need our exhausted will and does not need enormous amounts of outside energy constantly fed in to sustain it.” …”A work that is twice given, physically in the present and imaginatively in the future; a work and an identity that holds both together, not only for an end, but for every step that shapes an onward way.”

So, for 2021, instead of making resolutions that seem Ego driven, hard and cold, I invite us all to mindfully explore how Dreaming and Resolve may actually meet in a Committed Engagement with Intention. It’s all about our relationship with our joyful purpose, the flow of our innate gifts out to the world and back at us, in sacred reciprocity and flexibility.


I am honored that this year my books Acting Lessons for Living and companion Guided Journal have been recommended by the International Bookclub organization Pulpwood Queens and Timberland Guys. I will be appearing on a panel during their fabulous 2021 Virtual conference next weekend. I did not dream this.:) Last year my book Beyond the Bookclub was a bonus pick and we convened, pre-Covid, in Jefferson Texas. What a delicious weekend. If you are an author or love books or have your own book club, go to the link below and sign up for next weekend. It is a smorgasbord of gifted writers and teachers and an uplifting event!!!

Pulpwood Queens Virtual Girlfriend Weekend 2021

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