I got sick last week. Really felt like I had Covid. Just got the test results back and they were negative. “Whew”, I thought. I still have some virus, no doubt about that. In the medical and scientific realm, I have had some sort of flu bug for sure. For me, though, as a body-centered psychotherapist, I must look at my whole being and the messages it is sending to me.
A dear client, who has learned well and taught me well asked me, “What is your body saying to you?” I laughed out loud. We teach what we continue to learn.
I told him that I clearly heard: “I ache. I am sick. I have no appetite and what I do take in immediately purges. I am dizzy. I am in pain. I am bone tired.”
Then I asked my body, “What do you ache for? What is sick? What are you purging? Where is your exhaustion and pain coming from?”
The first messages I got had to do with the state of the world. I ache and long for a peaceful and kinder world. I am sick over the craziness. I am purging all the toxic news and insensitivities. I am beyond tired of the suffering and contentiousness.
Then another wise client mentioned that she knew this was the first anniversary of my soul/sister, Joy’s passing. I ache and long to be with her. I am sick with grief. I have no appetite for fun. My body releases nourishment as quickly as I nourish it, almost to imitate the emptiness I feel without her nourishing presence. I am in such pain that I will never talk to her in person again, trade sessions, giggle together, learn and grow together, share meals and recipes. I am still dizzy and disoriented living life without her. And Joy would always say, “I am bone tired.” She was a southern girl. So, there it is. The body never lies.
And for the last two weeks I have had an eye infection. It hurt to see, to look. My eye was swollen and my cheek black and blue, beat up. There is so much I don’t want to look at these days. Still, I know I must. Still, I must embrace my very own hero’s journey, which includes Life in its entirety. All of it.
Once I took off the blinders, I could relate to my body more compassionately. As I would a best friend who was struggling. As I would do with Joy. And afterward, after acknowledging all the layers of my pain, I began to mend. I am beginning to feel better. I am feeling the energy slowly fill, just in the seeing, and the recognition of all the grief.
Thank you, Body. I love you.
Enjoy this short video about our best friend, whom we truly cannot live without.