Time. What is it? Do we have enough of it? How do we relate to it? Have we projected upon it as our friend or our enemy, which we manage or where it manages us?
I once had an Alexander Technique teacher who said whenever you feel contracted, rushed or stressed, say to yourself:
“I have all the Time I need.”
When I remember to do that I do relax and accept the perfection of Time as it is unfolding. My body softens and I open to the moment as it is.
From a spiritual perspective I realize that maybe there is no “I” who needs any amount of Time, everything is creating itself and continues to create itself, infinitely. However, from the little “me”, my egoic self, Ruthie wants to feel a sense of having Time to be and do what she was called to do, to maximize the use of her gifts, to not waste this precious life.
What is my measurement tool?
Should I compare my use of Time with anyone else’s? If I do, I know for me, only suffering follows. So how can we truly address our personal time management?
Both my parents have transitioned and I wonder if they truly had enough Time. I surely don’t feel I had enough Time with them. My father left this life ready for the next adventure.
For him the clock was never going to stop ticking, just spend itself in a new way, in another dimension.
I think somehow, with hard work and lots of reflection he had come to accept that what he accomplished in this life was enough.
He didn’t need “more” to feel that he had lived well. I know he would have loved more. He loved more of almost everything, especially great food. He met life with enthusiasm. He tried to balance dark energy with light. And so he could make lemonade of even the end of his Time on this Earth.
My mom, on the other hand, did not seem to feel the same way. She clung to this life vigorously, not accepting that she had done all she needed to do, not wanting her connection to her dear ones to end, not wanting to leave us.
I wonder how I will meet the moment when my own hourglass drops its last grain of sand.
I just came upon this amazing quote by Viktor Frankl and it has stuck to me like gorilla glue, informing each thoughtful breath. I think it is the crux of the work I do with myself, and my clients each day. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Is real Time the space in between stimulus and response, between thought and being, between past and present? When my father was dying, and my son came home from China to say goodbye he asked his grandpa- ‘Where do you think you are going?”
My sage father said, “The space in between. In between the neurons and atoms. I’ll be right here, right near you.”
I guess we still have lots of Time together, in the space in between.
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